Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
