from now on my penis is your penis
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize