I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
