Ketchup is God's man juice
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
