She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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