East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
