How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
