good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
