You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
