All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think i got beer on your cat.
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