I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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