New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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