Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize