Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
