Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
