She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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