Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
