ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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