Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
