had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
ttyl tear gas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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