He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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