i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
