You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
