I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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