I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
