my phone needs a breathalizer
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
