I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
