capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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