It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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