so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
