Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
