Kiss
Puke
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
