let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
