he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
