I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
