That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
