There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
