I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
