Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
