ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
