Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Shame is for Republicans.
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