I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
