we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Never joke about your clitoris.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
