who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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