You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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