Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
