there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
