So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
