You really coming over, don't trick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
