i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
