i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
