Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
