He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
