as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
