We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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