You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
