I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im holly from the hills drunk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
