so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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