I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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