his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
