I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
