I just gift wrapped bread.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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