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Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do vagina's smell?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
