Say something about gay babies.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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